Sorry to hear that.

Girl: Did you know that I just found out that New England is not a state?! I was so mad!

-Hallway

No WAY.

[At the pool, the boy was being picked on by a girl and he was telling his mom about it]

Mom: What did she look like?
Boy: I don't know.
Mom: What was she wearing?
Boy: A bathing suit.
Mom: [sarcastically] No way!

-Contributed by Sara

This class has done you well....

Girl: Can horses swim?
Guy: DUH! Ain't you ever heard of a SEA-horse?!?!?!?

- Biology

Sweet!

Girl: Yeah, I'm a really cool, sweet person. Like...high fructose corn syrup. Like...throw you into a diabetic seizure or something.

- Church (kind of)

...and I'm beginning to hate this collar.

Guy: Give me those scissors, my coat here needs some pockets.

-Humanities

Hot Topic, here we come.

[Girls 1 & 2 are discussing an item of clothing.]
Girl 1: That is SO an emo shirt.
Girl 2: No it's not!
Girl 1: But it has skulls all over it!
Girl 2: But they're pink...that un-does all the emo-ness.

-Cafeteria

. . . said the scavenger.

Guy [SF]: "At lunch today, this girl was going to throw away her chicken, so I tried to grab it and she was like, 'Back up off my plate!" I was like, 'Woah, sorry!" and the lunch lady was like, 'Quit scavenging off of people!" and I was like, 'Man . . .'"

-Humanities

Not Quite....

[Employees from are eating at a table before the dinner rush.]

Girl: Hey, I have a cyst.
Guy: (With a mouthful of shrimp) Is that like herpes?

-Restaurant

Now for today's Sunday School lesson...

[Girl and Guy are getting ready to play a game of ping-pong, and Girl says she is going to beat him.]

Guy: A no-armed leopard could beat me at ping-pong. And I mean the kind of leopards that are in the Bible, man.

-Basement

Wow....

Guy: What will we have for dinner?
Girl: We could have pancakes and bacon.
Guy: Yeah, but then what will we have for dinner?

- Kitchen

...and this is college?

Guy: Man, I got a 60% on that quiz.
Girl: So, what, you got 3 out of 10? No, wait....what?

- College Overnight Visit

Don't try this at home...

"Yeah, when I was a kid and I was really mad or sad or couldn't afford drugs or whatever, I'd just sit there and stare at the sun. It made me feel all warm and nice inside, you know? And then you can't see for a long time, but you can't have it all."

-Psych [go figure]

It'll look great with my sofa.

Girl: Our crazy neighbor woman came up to my dad with this mutated dog and was like,
"Hey, I found a chupa cabra," and my dad was like,
"No, lady, that's a mutated dog. There's probably five or six of those running around somewhere." Then she was like,
"Well, I'm taking it to a taxidermist."

-Livestock Club Meeting

It might not be for you.

[Girls are talking about a teacher]
Girl 1: Yea, I could just tell. It's like...epsn.
Girl 2: Uh, don't you mean "esp"?

Girl 1: Oh, is that how you say it? I just heard that on a movie. What does it stand for anyway?

-Contributed by Rachel

Traffic school, anyone?

[Man is yelling at the car in front of him.]
"Stop for the bus! Stop for the bus!! Oh. Wait. It's an old people bus. Don't bother then, they're expendable..."

-On the Road

...topped my Christmas list last year.

[At the Powderpuff football game, a group of guys are looking at a magazine.]

Guy 1 [pointing at the magazine, to the rest]: Oh look! Oh look, a battle axe!! I want that!!

-Powderpuff Game

How's that working out for you?

[Guys are discussing shooting, etc.]
"Well, they dared me to shoot myself in the chest, but I decided to shoot myself in the top of the head instead..."

-4th Block