P-p-p-party every day.

Guy: If I were a student representative, I would put every kind of alcohol on tap.
Girl: I think every room should just have a well-stocked minibar.
Guy: Yeah, for sure...wait, minibar? No. Megabar.

- The Grill

Umm....

"Quit calling me a retarded!"

- Dorm

Unlike semicolons.

"I don't want my commas on crack. I want them to know what the hell they're doing."

- Walnut House

Very scientific.

"I think you would have to write his douche factor in scientific notation because it's too big to fit on the page."

- Post Office Porch