It's love.

Man [to wife]: Who said I was a conservative anyway? You, you liberal whack-job! Anyway, I was just coming in here to check on you. Make sure you're doing alright.

- First Block

Don't EVEN go there..

"Don't you make me snap my fingers in a z formation!!"

-Late-evening Banter

Even babies.

Girl 1: Don't eat that!
Kid 1: But, I'm a puppy!
Kid 2: Puppies don't eat babies!
Kid 1: Puppies eat anything! Even babies.

-Sunday School,
Contributed by Candace

Rejection via sandwich

Guy: No one's ever turned my down by giving me a fake phone number. I've just ended up making a lot of calls to Quizno's...

-Party

That's one idea.

[A large, extended family is having dinner. Everyone is awkwardly silent.]
Man [suddenly]: Well, we could pick somebody and do an intervention.

-Christmas

Omnomnommm.

Guy: I don't think I want to quit eating until I get some meatloaf.

-Late at Night

Symphonic.

Girl: But...how would you know it was us!?
Guy: Who else would bring an air horn to a symphony?!

-School

There's the word.

Girl 1: [Boy], you're really taking AP History?
Guy: Yes, I am. How dare you doubt my...my...um...crap, what's the word? It's...it's...AGH!
Girl 2:...'Intelligence'?
Guy: Yeah! That's it! I never would have thought of that...you saved me!

-Academic Team

...and now for what's happening in your neck of the woods.

Guy: Do you remember back in September when Russia invaded Georgia?
Girl: Yes.
Guy: Yeah, when I heard that I was freaking out because I thought Russia had invaded the Georgia in the United States. A week later, I saw a map of Russia and Georgia on the television and figured out that Georgia was also a country... haha.
Girl: You went for a week thinking that the Russians had invaded Atlanta?!
Guy: Yeah, I just figured it was not a very big invasion. I thought that if it had been significant, it would have been on the Today show!

-Academic Team Practice

Truth or Myth?

[Students are discussing bringing a Thanksgiving dinner to school.]

Girl 1: I can make mashed potatoes.
Girl 2: ...and I'll bring dressing!
Guy: I'll bring the cranberry sauce... and the coffee, because we all know how the pilgrims loved to sit around and drink coffee with Sasquatch.

-Spanish III

Eavesdroppers Turns Two

November 7, 2006, Eavesdroppers began.

Two years, 527 posts, and 22, 951 hits later, the time has come for an Eavesdroppers revival.

Beginning today, quotes will be posted more frequently than they have been of late.

Thanks again to all of you who've been a part of these two great years.

Eavesdrop on!

R. Burns

Maggini-in-Tweed

Offshelf

A state is a state.

Customer: I'd like a ticket for "Hollywood Chihuahua".
Daughter: It's called "Beverly Hills Chihuahua", Mom.
Customer: Who cares? A state is a state.

-Movie Theater, Contributed by Trevor

Tree jokes!

Girl: [Boy], you just aren't very wise.
Boy: I am very wise!
Girl: Okay, I'll take it back. You're a total sage.
Boy: Well if I'm a sage...then you're a...birch.
Girl: Oho. First tree joke of the year!

-AP Political Science

The thought that counts.

[Girl is in the hospital after having her appendix removed, and her boyfriend comes to visit.]

Guy: Aww... I'm so sorry you're feeling bad.
Girl: Thanks...
Guy: I went to go get you some flowers, but then I saw how much they cost and decided I need gas money more.

-Hospital

How sweet.

Guy: Aww...don't you just love to see fat people happy? I mean, I do. Until I remember how sad and alone and skinny I am.

-Cinema 8

Sounds amaaaazing.

Girl: I met the hottest guy the other day. I mean...he looked just like Gandhi.

- Contributed by Rachel

So was that a yes?

Girl: So I'll probably have to shoot this guy who's stalking me. But then he'll wake up in the hospital and be like, "So was that a yes?"

-Concert

Very Medieval.

Guy: So we used to always go in Walmart and we'd get those...pool noodles. And we'd get bicycles. And you know what we did? We jousted. Yeah...

-O'Charley's

No sense.

[Family eating at dinner table.]
Guy: Hey Mom, don't you think it'd be ironic if this guy Sonny was always thinking about something so that he had a gray cloud that followed him over his head?! I think that'd be pretty ironic...
Mom: Hmm... Seems to me that if he was always thinking something he'd have a lightbulb instead.
[Family eats in silence for a few seconds.]
Guy: No, that really just doesn't make any sense at all.

-Dinner

If you say so.

"No! Don't take my sunglasses! I need them because I'm deaf!"

-Hallway