It's a lemur, mate!

[We're going over a map of Africa.]

Teacher [pointing to Madagascar]: ...and what is this country, [girl]?
Girl: Madagascar?
Teacher: Right. What is the one animal who's native only to this country?
Girl: Umm... a kangaroo?

-World Civ

The capital of Australia? China.

[We are doing a project where we have to write a postcard to a "friend" about our "trip" to Costa Rica.]

Guy: This is dumb. None of my friends would even CARE if I went to Mexico!

...as long as there's no rat tail.

"If I grow a mullet, will you still be my friend??"

-Government

Fun party.

"And I was like 'You're going to choke her? I have company over!' and I was really surprised. Of course, I don't THINK he'd choke her anyway but you never know."

-1st Block

...Right.

"Oh yeah. I know her. She used to live in a bomb shelter."

-Lockers

I Baroque Out in Laughter....

{I was in class, and there was a dicussion about Baroque Literature. The teacher was discussing famous authors of the era when she came to Defoe.}

Teacher: Defoe wrote a book few people know little about anymore, but it used to be quite popular.
Student: Robinson Crusoe.
Teacher: (surprised) Very good!! It was about a family who was shipwrecked on an island, and they basically built themselves a whole big place to live. Then a few years back, Disney made a movie of the book, changing the title. They called it Swiss Family Robinson.
Student: {Puts head down to supress laughter, teacher goes right on....}

{For those of you who are going HUH?, look up Johann David Wyss.}

Feathers, too.

Girl: I'm giving up red meat for Lent... you know, cow. I'm not giving up things that come from cows, though, like milk, eggs, and cheese.

-Honors Biology

...and if you stare long enough, 17.

Girl 1: If you stare at him, he looks 16. If you just glance at him though, he only looks 15.
Girl 2: Woah, that's weird.

-Hallway

Which is the ________ from correct?

"So it's the fartherest...I mean, the furtherest...I mean..."

-4th Block

Where Exactly IS Waldo???

{There was a conversation about where you could get things shipped, which brought about 2 posts, but since they are both uttered by the same girl, and involve the same topic, I am going to lump them together.}

Guy: You can too get ground shipping to Alaska, you just drive through Canada.
Girl: Ugh. No you can't....you are so stupid. Alaska isn't in this country!!!
Guy: Yes it is...so is Hawaii.
Girl: I have been to Hawaii, and Alaska is farther south than Hawaii...I would know, I've been there. It is right down there near Mexico, and it is in a different country, because it has a box around it. Stupid.

That conversation led to a geography quiz for the girl, who decided she didn't want to play after not knowing the difference between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, even after having been to Hawaii, in it's own little box....hmmmmm....

Yes.

Girl on Phone: That's funny. Didn't she beat up a hobo one time?

- Hallway

It does make us laugh, though.

Guy 1: I'm so gangsta.
Guy 2: Well I'm gangsta GANGSTA.
Girl [Who actually IS a "gangsta"]: Okay, saying it twice doesn't help your case. You're still an idiot.
-3rd Block

On to option #2...

Girl: What am I going to do if I ever have a kid... and it turns out stupid?!
Guy: What, you mean, like retarded?
Girl: No, I mean, like, dumb, no common sense.
Guy: I don't know...
Girl: ...I think I'll kill it.

-Hallway

Today's Special: Potato Subs

[Guy 1 walks into classroom, after lunch, eating a baked potato, a piece of ham, and potato chips, all on a sandwich bun.]
Guy 2: Man, that looks delicious.
Guy 1: Yeah...
Guy 2: They should serve those at Subway, dude.

-Government

Angora or Wool?

"Ugh. I have that fuzzy feeling on my teeth from eating too much candy...like they're all wearing little sweaters."

-Orchestra

Smoke, fog, what's the difference?

Girl: Woah, it's really foggy outside!
Teacher: Yeah, I couldn't see what I was doing when I was getting ready this morning.
Girl: There was fog in your house?! You can't have fog in your house!
Teacher: Well... um... I burned my toast.

-World Civ

Yes, in the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

[Guy to class]

"Has anyone here ever met a hobo?"

-Government

Frankly, it stinks. [Pun intended.]

[I am in line at the store; there is a very grizzly man in front of me. In walks a woman whom he apparently knows.]

Woman: Hey, how are you doin', hun?
Grizzly: Well, I could be better, I got a skunk in my house.
Woman: You got a what?!
Grizzly: A skunk! In my house! I woke up, and there it was. A big black tail right on my face. Shoo, it's awful.

- Gas Station

A monologue.

[A guy, to no one in particular.]

"You know what's a funny word? "Poppycock." I know this black woman, she says that. She's black, but she's from Britain. She says "Oh, poppycock!" It's hilarious."

- Government

Greece, too? It can't be.

Guy 1: Man, I'm hungry. Did you know there's a place called Hungary? Hun-gar-y. There's also a place called Turkey. They're in the same... um... area.
Guy 2: There's also a place called Chile...
Guy 1: Nuh-uh! Are you serious?!

- Government, before lunch