Showing off the P.C. again...

[Girl is telling the class about her trip to China.]
Girl: And there were all of these big monkeys just walking around the temple--
Guy 1: You racist! Those are monks!
Girl: No...they were really monkeys.
Guy 2: Man, if there were monkeys in a temple here, somebody would shoot them...

-World Civ.

"That wasn't even worth it!"

Girl: You got shot? Where's your scar!?
Guy: I don't have a scar!
Girl: You got shot and didn't get a scar?! That wasn't even worth it!

- Government

And now for a bit of politically correct humor...

Girl 1: Why do women not wear watches?
Girl 2: Why?
Girl 1: ...because there's a clock on the stove. You want to hear something funny?!
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: Women's Rights!!
[both laugh]

-Government

...sounds like a plan.

"I love using a GPS! When I get a GPS I'm going to get lost on purpose!"

-Greenhouse Tech

submitted by Stacy

That's my kind of party.

Girl: I want to go home and take and Advil and go to the buffet."

-Geometry

Way to tell us now!

"So there was this girl at the fair who [was really creeping me out] so I got an electric fence from one of the shows and a portable generator and carried it around with me in case she ever came near me....I just totally made all that up."

- Lunch

That's comforting...

Girl 1: She called me a freak!!
Girl 2: Why would she do a thing like that?
Girl 1: ...because of the way my boyfriend talks to me. He growls at me.
Girl 3: How does that make you a freak? I growl all the time!

- Auditorium

That's one theory....

"He only had one arm? That probably has something to do with the alcohol...."

-Hallway

That's glamorous these days.

Girl: Why did you name the cat Jasmine?
Mom: You know, like Princess Jasmine.
Girl: But she's a stray! And she has a bald tail!!

-Girl's House

Tomorrow's forecast...

Old Woman 1: Boy, it sure is windy outside!
[Pause]
Old Woman 2: No, I think tomorrow's Thursday...

- Church Dinner

Philosophically, then?

[Our grade is called suddenly to an assembly.]
Guy: Hey, do you know why we're here?
Girl: Are you asking that literally or philosophically?
Guy: What about my esophagus?

-Audotorium, 3rd Block

It's the new zoo.

Girl: Ugh...I'm so bored! I'm going to go make funny faces at the freshmen in the hallway.

-Spanish

So it could mean anything...

Guy: Yeah, I really despise her. And I don't even know what "despise" means.

-Testing Review (UGH)

The goat's innocent...

[A girl is deep in conversation, these lines surface quite loudly.]

"...and I told her, "Don't curse the goat, you shouldn't have leaned in that close!!"

- Honors Biology

A short-lived need for equality

"That was a racist remark. Oh nevermind...I don't even care."

-Geometry

That's rule #4...duh.

Teacher: Chuck Norris moves are not allowed in class...now please take a seat!

- Third Block

I'll give you a hint...

Teacher: ...now be careful of that, or you'll fail the class.
Guy: Why are you looking at me like that? I ain't done nothing!
Teacher: That was your conscience, son.
Guy: My conscience?!? What the heck's a conscience? I ain't got one of those...

- 4th block

Those go hand-in-hand.

Girl 1: Do you have any gum?
Girl 2: No! And I don't have a tumor either!

-After Lunch

Gluttony, greed, envy, wearing black with brown...

Girl: Wearing black with brown is, like, a sin.
Guy 1: So you're telling me that if I wear black and brown that God will condemn me to the fiery pits of Hell?!
Girl: No, it's like a fashion-sin, duh...
Guy 2: ...meaning Aéropostale will come down and kick your butt...

- Government

'To serve and protect.'

Girl: The main reason I don't want to be a police officer is because they'd stick me on night shift in the ghetto. I'd be scared!!

- Lexington Ghetto