There Aren't Academic Scholarships in the NFL....

I have been watching a little football this weekend, and I have heard 2 worthy posts. So, here's the kickoff....

Newscaster: {Talking to a tailgater} So what are you cooking?
Tailgater 1: Weiners, and filet mignon.
Newscaster: {To other tailgater, who is opening a beer} So, are you his sous chef?
Tailgater 2: {Looking Offended} No! I'm just helping him cook.

My Halftime Comment: Hmmmmmm.......

Now, we will kickoff the second half....

Sportscaster 1: Now, he is wearing 5/8 inch cleats.
Sportscaster 2: Yeah that will give him a little more grip today.
Sportscaster 1: I wish I knew which was longer, 3/8, 1/2, 5/8....I was never in the NFL....I don't know what it is....