Girl: My pet turtle that I ordered from the internet came in yesterday and he's so great. I really love him.
Teacher: I hate to break this to you, honey, but turtles are carriers of salmonella.
Girl: Oh, but he's so cute. I named him Franklin.
Teacher: Yeah, but I bet you'll really think he's cute when you're lying in a hospital gasping out your last...
-AP Animal Science
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