A state is a state.

Customer: I'd like a ticket for "Hollywood Chihuahua".
Daughter: It's called "Beverly Hills Chihuahua", Mom.
Customer: Who cares? A state is a state.

-Movie Theater, Contributed by Trevor

Tree jokes!

Girl: [Boy], you just aren't very wise.
Boy: I am very wise!
Girl: Okay, I'll take it back. You're a total sage.
Boy: Well if I'm a sage...then you're a...birch.
Girl: Oho. First tree joke of the year!

-AP Political Science

The thought that counts.

[Girl is in the hospital after having her appendix removed, and her boyfriend comes to visit.]

Guy: Aww... I'm so sorry you're feeling bad.
Girl: Thanks...
Guy: I went to go get you some flowers, but then I saw how much they cost and decided I need gas money more.

-Hospital

How sweet.

Guy: Aww...don't you just love to see fat people happy? I mean, I do. Until I remember how sad and alone and skinny I am.

-Cinema 8

Sounds amaaaazing.

Girl: I met the hottest guy the other day. I mean...he looked just like Gandhi.

- Contributed by Rachel