Wholesome Advice

Teacher (to students): Just remember, you all, don't fight the man. When the man tells you to do something, just do it. . . . We need some good, solid C students in this school. Mediocrity is the key. Remember, if you reach for the stars, you just might get your hand evaporated.

- AP Animal Science

Your guess is as good as mine.

"Hey...uh...what was Hitler's last name?"

-Orchestra

...Sure.

"It's not a maid if you have to put batteries in it!!"

-Somewhere (found this in an old folder)

I don't know, but they have NATIONAL HEALTHCARE!!!!

Guy: We are gangsters.
Girl: Yeah, you guys are so black! No. You are blacker than black. You are....wait, what color are Canadians?!?!?!

- Hallway

Wildlife Depletion

Woman: I was driving down the road the other night when this turkey flew right up in front of me... and I hit it!
Girl 1: A turkey?!
Girl 2: Yeah, haven't you seen the hood of her car?!
Woman: No, honey, that's from the deer.

-Thanksgiving Dinner

Happy Thanksgiving!

...and may it be full of interesting quotes that you can contribute to us!
Have a great one.
-Eavesdroppers Staff

A Generation Gap

[Young Girl has just been handed her change at a restaurant. One of the old style five-dollar bills is included.]

Young Girl [waving old five-dollar bill]: Wait! This one's fake!

-Restaurant

Now wait a minute....

Guy: What did you say?!?!?!
Girl: Never mind.
Guy: I want to know.
Girl: I plead the first.
Guy: Oh, really? And what does 'the first' say?
Girl: Thou shalt not....sin? Duh. Don't you EVER listen in school?

- Church

Beauty Visits

Preacher: Girl, would you like to go on a visit with me tomorrow?
Girl: Where? To the mall?
Preacher: No...to see some elderly people in the church.
Girl: Erm...ew. No. Wait! I know! Can I do their makeup?!

- Potluck

That's saddening.

[Guy 1 is asking Guy 2 for some money.]
Girl [to friend]: Ha...ha...I bet he needs money to pay rent on his cardboard box.

-Hallway

Wait a minute....

Guy: I need to bring 10 gallons of milk tomorrow, so I bought 5 half gallons this afternoon to be ready....oh crap.

- Restaurant

"Gross!"

[After lunch, 'Teacher' is obviously eating Goldfish crackers.]

Guy: What are you eating?
Teacher: Goldfish. Want some?
Guy: Old fish?! What?
Teacher: Goldfish.
Guy: Cold fish?!?
Teacher: No, goldfish.
Guy: Man, I was about to say, "Gross!"

-Humanities

No comment.

[Guy is talking with people about Lance Armstrong]

Girl: Wait. Isn't he the guy who went to the moon?
Guy: [Sarcastically] Yep. He rode a bike there....

- Math

One Year of Eavesdroppers

It's hard to believe, but it was one year ago that we started all this! That makes today Eavesdroppers Day. Wear our colors and tell some friends about Eavesdroppers. Also, comment on this post. Even if you don't really come here regularly, we'd like to know what you think of us in a comment.

Meanwhile, here are some stats:
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Thanks for being a part of it!
Eavesdrop on...
Maggini-in-Tweed
R.Burns
Offshelf

Rabbis in the Dark

[Listening to a Jewish tune.]

Girl 1: You don't know this? You wouldn't make a very good Jew, then.
Girl 2: What do you mean I wouldn't make a good Jew?! I'd make a great Jew! But wait, they don't have electricity, do they?

- House

If you say so.

[A chamber group is playing a Mozart Divertimento. The coach is trying to get them to play a certain passage in a regal manner.]
Coach: Okay, this has to be more regal...because back when Mozart was alive and writing this stuff, they had things that we don't have today...like...kings and queens and stuff.

-Chamber

The black hair paradigm....

Guy: I think that I am going to dye my hair black.
Girl: Dying your hair black screams "I think I'm misunderstood, even though everyone understands that I'm just an idiot."

Kind of, yeah.

[Girls are looking at a picture.]
Girl: Oh my gosh. If I could make babies with that picture, I totally would...Does that make me weird?

-AP US History

The language barrier strikes again.

Girl [confused]: Umm....how do you say "guacamole" in Spanish?!

-Spanish