Mute-English Dictionary: Priceless.

[Two girls are talking quietly.]
Girl 1: [suddenly] I DON'T SPEAK MUTE!!!!!!!!
- Honors Geometry

Yeah, it was INTENSE.

Guy 1: Did you hear that [Andrew] got chased down by the police?
Guy 2: Yeah...where did they chase him?
Guy 1: Down the hallway.
- World Civ.

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A few notes:

We are on Spring Break so we won't be getting too much new material. However, we should have at least a post a day because we were smart enough to ration them. If you would like to contribute, read on.

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If you have not been already, you should visit About Eavesdroppers. There is a link on the sidebar. It has a place where you can contribute something you've overheard. Keep in mind that it is a work in progress. We'll be improving it over break.

Eavesdrop on! -Eavesdroppers Staff

...makes sense.

Girl: I don't understand wearing shorts that are so short that it makes it look like you're not wearing any pants. I'd rather just not wear pants.

- Anonymous Location ...it would reveal the speaker to some.

People live in Greece, too.

[The 6th-grade social studies class is discussing Egypt.]

Girl: What?! You mean people actually live in Egypt?! Where do they live, like, the pyramids?

-submitted by Booklover95

---

...and to this I'll add what was said in my own history class when Egypt was discussed.

Guy: Egypt's in Africa?! I had no idea...

And when he finally dies...

[We are writing a paper about Rasputin.]
Guy: I'm excited! [Teacher] said that for every time Rasputin gets shot I can use the d-word. And he gets shot a LOT!!!
- World Civ.

He knows more than you think, yo.

Guy wearing his cap sideways: Look! I'm from the ghetto!
Girl: Listen, you don't know what the ghetto is. I grew up there, man, you have no idea.
Guy: Yes, I do. The ghetto's a place I stay out of at night.

-Government

She's easily upset.

"My mom got really mad at me when she found out that I stole that street sign. I don't know why, though, I mean, I guess because it's like a felony or whatever..."

-Government (no irony here)

No discrepancies here.

"I didn't want to hurt her. I just wanted to tear off all her skin."

- 3rd Block

No, it's the SKY.

"Is that blue part on the map the...the water?"

-Spanish

Well, this makes 200.......

This is the 200th Eavesdroppers Post......

Student 1: Why did Rosa Parks refuse to give up her seat?
Student 2: Because, she was tired from all her slave work, like picking cotton.
Student 1: (at this point just leading the other student) So, they had buses back when there were slaves?
Student 2: Yeah, it wasn't that long ago....
Student 1: (again leading) So, was it in like the 1860's, or the 1960's?
Student 2: I said now that long ago, so, like, the 1960's.
Student 1: And there were slaves then?
Student 2: DUH!! You have to LISTEN!!!!

Complications may include...

"I'm on this new medication, and it's caused a problem. When I breathe, I cough. I've found the solution, though: don't breathe. I've been told that might cause some complications, though."

- Church

Four more hoagies, coming up.

[For lunch today: hoagies. The end-of-lunch bell just rang. Everyone is nearly out the door except for Sandwich Friend, who remains at his table alone, arms crossed.]
Girl: Why are you still sitting there, [Sandwich Friend]?
Sandwich Friend: I'm waiting for someone to bring me some more FOOD!!!!
- Cafeteria

...off to write my obituary.

Girl 1: If I died, would you come to my funeral?
Girl 2: Yes... and I'd cry, too.
Girl 1: Well, I hope you're not busy this weekend....

- 4th Block

It looks GREAT.

"Does the back of my mullet look alright?"

- Music Building

Mind the pedestrian (or pterodactyl.)

Guy: Man, I feel bad. We hit a pterodactyl on the way to school this morning. Those things are almost extinct, you know, and I killed one!
Girl: You mean a vulture? ...a buzzard?
Guy: No, it was huge, nasty and bald!

- Government

I see the difference.

Guy 1: Have you ever been stabbed?
Guy 2: Yeah, why?
Guy 1: Just wondering...
Guy 2: Well, actually it was more of a slice...

- Before Lunch

Yes, too bad the dictionaries weren't that good....

In class, and Teacher is telling about the compilation of the first 17 volume encyclopedia, and how it was really important.

"It was HUGE. It was GIGANTIC....it was....it was....MAGNANIMOUS!!"

{Note: mag·nan·i·mous [mag nánnəməss]adj noble-spirited: very generous, kind, or forgiving (Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.)}

You are Just Digging Yourself Deeper.....

These two were heard pretty close together in a Chem-Comm (Pre-Chemistry) Class. The discussion was on extracting ores, and digging for minerals et cetera. The question posed was: How far is it to where there is lava in the middle of the Earth?

Teacher: Well, look. {Draws crossection of the layers of the earth on board} This is the crust. That is what we are standing on, and.....
Student: Whoa! Wait a minute!!! We are standing on the CRUST!?!?!?!? I thought we were standing on the atmosphere....

- - After explaining that, Teacher is recapping how far it is to the 'lava' (it would actually be magma, but you know, we don't want to expect too much), and gives his final figure to the magma. - -

Same Student: {turns to buddy} You know, that couldn't be that far.....I can dig that in a year and a half, with a pickaxe!!! Maybe a year, if you helped....

And your cuff-links, too.

[Guys 1 & 2 are arguing in the hallway. It escalates to...]

"Why? What are you going to do to me? Eat my tie?"

- Hallway

This might be one of those times.

"He said that he almost got eaten by an alligator the other day. But you know how sometimes he lies..."

- World Civ.

I feel the love...

Girl 1: Yeah, so I tried to hold his hand...
Girl 2: How'd that go?
Girl 1: Well, he stabbed me.
- After School

You probably can't spell 'cat' either.

[Note that "Alexandra" is very very short.]

Guy, yelling after Alexandra: YOU CAN'T SPELL ALEXANDRA WITHOUT "MIDGET!!!!"

-After School

As to why your dog is the one meowing...

[We are talking about the recent cat food recall.]
Bewildered Girl: WHAT?! Is that why my cat can't meow anymore?!
- World Civ.

I met them in Philadelphia.

Guy: You know what? I met two of my dad's other kids the other day... my half brothers. I beat them up.

- 3rd Block

There are many poor people about.

Teacher: ...and you'll need graph paper for this question.
Guy: I don't have any graph paper, though!
Teacher: You'll have to buy yourself some, then.
Guy: Listen, I'm poor. You can't buy graph paper with food stamps!

- 4th Block

And you? A kumquat...

['Guys 1 and 2' are badgering 'Girl'...]

Guy 1: You look like an ape!
Girl: Is that a fat joke?
Guy 1: How would that be a fat joke?
Girl: Apes are fat.
Guy 2: You look like a tangerine, then...
Guy 3: Dude, a tangerine is a fruit, you mean orangutan.
Guy 2: Did we ask you?!

-Government

The [Good] Samaratin Strikes Again

"Man, I'm poor. See this shirt? I had to steal this from some crying kid in a wheelchair!"

- Cafeteria

That would be stupid...like when I robbed that store.

Girl 1: So you didn't even tell your mom that you were going to court today?
Girl 2: Of course not!
- Bathroom

...but it may be in Nebraska.

[Girl 1 is wearing a t-shirt that is obviously from the beach.]
Girl 2: Where'd you get your shirt?
Girl 1: The beach.
Girl 2: Which beach?
Girl 1: I think it's in Ohio...

-Government

[Note: I do realize that there are some beaches in Ohio, but work with me.]

He's taught you so much, though!

Girl: Yeah, I don't hate anyone. Except my preacher...I really hate him.

- Break

...and his penguin has a revolver...

[A guy deep in conversation]

"...and his monkey has this shotgun..."

-World Civ

Two.....(the preposition???)

{Sitting at lunch, something is being described....}

Boy: It is all....FROTHY.
Other Boy: Yeah....that is a good word for it....
First Boy: Yes, frothy is one of the best verbs I can think of for that....

Yeah...hilarious.

"So he hit me in the head like a hundred times and I was just cracking up like 'This is hilarious!' It was SO awesome!!"

- Guy in Hall

Ah, gangsta hygiene.

Girl: What kind of toothpaste do you use?
Guy: Oral-G.
Girl: I think it's Oral-B.
Guy: Not if you're gangsta, like me. Then it's Oral-G.
-Spanish

Two on one religion discrepancy...

[We are watching a movie about a battle in World War I, in which the British fought the Turks. It brought up how the Turks carried Qur'an into battle, prepared to die.]
Girl: So you're telling me the Turks were Jewish?
- World Civ.


Later, in Geometry:
[Girl 2 reads this post.]
Girl 2: Ummm...why is that funny?

I'm quadrilingual!

Girl: Listen! I can say "cow" in four languages: English, "cow", Spanish, "vaca", French, "vache", and Ghetto, "your mom!"

-Government

8675 - wait a minute...385???

iPods and other mp3 players have been banned at school, and so some teachers have started turning on the radio, and playing music when there is time to do homework. In this particular class, the teacher tuned into a classic rock station.

{Song starts playing, and sounds a lot like Stacey's Mom by Fountains of Wayne....it isn't, which was a shame, but before we knew that, a girl decided to inquire....}

Girl: Is this that Tina's Mom song???

Happy tunes....

Inigo?! No.

Kid: Hello there. My name is DEATH. I will kill you now.

- Before Orchestra

Busted.

[The class is discussing a quote that is written on the board.]

Teacher: ...and what do you think, [Guy 1]?
Guy 1: I agree, I think it's better to give than to recieve.
Teacher: So, which do you enjoy more, giving a gift or receiving one?
Guy 1: Giving, of course...
Guy 2: Dude, you wouldn't even give me a nickle at lunch the other day!!

- World Civ

The Samaritan would have been proud.

"I saw this guy, all alone, walking down the hallway on crutches, and it made me think, "It must really be terrible to be on crutches and to have no friends."

- 2nd block

One-Third of a Year!

We're hoping to make a monthly review of statistics something of a tradition. I won't give the "four score and seven years ago..." spill from last month; I'll just stick to the facts.

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This is the 169th post.

To date we've had 2,172 hits, 922 in the last month; recently averaging 50 each day.

We've had 814 unique visitors.

.

To our loyal supporters (dare I say "fans"), thanks, and keep promoting us! Our reader base is growing.

.

Again, thanks to everyone for reading.

.

Keep listening...

.

R. Burns

Maggini in Tweed

Offshelf

A caring friend...

[Girl 1 has just told a very long story about how sad her life used to be...Girl 2 is walking with her.]
Girl 1: ...So yeah, I used to cry a lot when I was a kid.
Girl 2: Whatever. Do you have any gum?
- After Lunch

An addition...

This is the most recent threat...an addition to "I'm Afraid I didn't know...until now."

*

The Same Girl [To the same Guy]: Nope. That's it. I'm going to hit you over the head with a fire extinguisher now. The possum pretzel is out of the question.

- 4th Block

Me neither.

Girl: I can't believe you killed a penguin...and then had a funeral for it!

- Class Change

...and then eat you.

"Shut up or I'll squish you into chili!!!"

- 1st Block

What happened to the days of the good old granny?

"We were playing volleyball against these old ladies at the YMCA and they were like 'Respect your elders!' and I was like 'Why don't you just go use your inhalers!' ...Old ladies are just so MEAN..."
- 1st Block

Her name's 'Lady.'

Guy 1: Well, when my parents open my bedroom door, a Rottweiler runs and jumps into my bed...
Teacher: You sleep with a Rottweiler?!?
Guy 1: Yeah, it's just like a big baby.
Guy 2: To you, maybe, but to us, he's like a ferocious monster.
Guy 1: It's a she!
Girl: Yeah, I knew someone who had a Rottweiler named Reaper. It died of Parvo, though, poor little thing..."

-1st Block

Tragic.

Guy: I'm not going to be here at school tomorrow.
Girl: Why?
Guy: I'm going home to cry and never coming back.

-World Civ

Wear green, beat down Protestants...

Guy: "I'd love to be Irish for a day. You know, get my pot of gold... drink a bunch of beer..."

-1st Block

You, miss, are coordinated.

Girl: Yeah, my prom dress pink, blue, and green. I'm painting my room to match. The pictures are going to be so adorable!

-3rd Block

Not quite.

Guy 1: What does "e pluribus umum" mean?
Teacher: Out of many, one. Out of 50 states, one nation.
Guy 2: Well, during the Civil War, I guess it was "e pluribus dos."

-Government

Yet another hobo post...

Girl: ...but you have to take a foreign language in high school.
Guy: You don't if you're not college bound.
Girl: What will you do if you don't go to college?
Guy: I don't know, be a hobo, I guess... shoo.

-Government

Yes, it's illegal to drive while blindfolded.

[...at the court house, a secretary is on the telephone.]

Secretary: Yes, sir, it is illegal to drive on the wrong side of the road... Yes, if you'd hit the garbage truck it would have caused damage...

-Court House

Not Really a Post

In case any of you are wondering where the poll went, or why you've been getting pop-ups on Eavesdroppers, here is the story:

I put the poll on about how people found our site because we're trying to conclude which way of advertising is best...but the next day people started saying they were getting popups. To rectify the situation, the poll has been removed...if you're still getting popups on Eavesdroppers, PLEASE send us an email about it here. No one's paying us, so they shan't be advertising.

Hope this solves the problem...

Eavesdrop on! Maggini in Tweed

I'm afraid I DIDN'T know...until now.

Girl: If you don't shut your mouth I'll put you in a possum pretzel!
Guy: Um....What's that?
Girl: You know...the redneck wrestling move!
- 2nd Block

I love my Victor Hugo.

[Girl 1, to Girl 2, who is wearing a black hood and bobbing her head.]

Girl 1: What in the world are you doing?
Girl 2: ...bein' the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

-Government

"It just helps..."

[Note that 'Guadalajara' is a local Mexican restaurant.]

Guy 1: I'd like to work at Guadalajara, but I'm not Mexican.
Guy 2: Dude, you don't have to be Mexican to work at Guadalajara, it just helps.

- Cafeteria

What happened to 'The Crickets'?

"Dude, check out my new band: 'The Death Tube of American Doughnuts.'"

- Government

...nothing like "indoors-y" fresh...

"Gross! It smells like the outdoors in here!"

- Girl, returning to classroom from lunch