I think this class needs some Bubble Yum.

[The guy who has been sleeping on the floor of our Honors Algebra II class has just regained conciousness. The first thing out of his mouth was this.]
Star Student: [sticks head under nearest desk and curses loudly] There's no gum under here! Does anyone have any gum?!
- Fourth Block

[I would like to take this opporunity to relevantly mention that I am finished with Honors Algebra II. Forever.]

Cue Nirvana.

Yet another from our friends in Spanish class...

Guy: Guess what.
Girl: What?
Guy: I'm goin' to military school 'cause I'm failing World Civ 'cause I got a 55 on my paper 'cause I didn't even write it 'cause I don't care.
Girl: That sucks, dude.

I think it's "Friends, ROMANS, Countrymen..."

[We are discussing Julius Cæsar - I beleive I've quoted happenings from such discussions before. The teacher is talking about a part of the play where Cæsar says he loves Brutus dearly - as a friend - and some still find this funny.]
Guy: What? Was Cæsar, like, gay or something?
Girl: Duh. Lots of Greeks were gay.
- Honors English II

Study hard.

[Keeping with the theme... a quote from my Honors Algebra II class. As finals are drawing closer, today we were calculating what we had to make on the Algebra final to pass, pass with an 'A', etc. ... Random people are discussing this.]
Girl: I have to make a 90 to get an A.
Guy: I only have to make a 70.
Girl: I have to make a 83.
Guy: I have to make a 143!!!

These kinds keep us going.

[We are getting our grades in Honors Algebra II, which is quite a difficult class. I beleive I've mentioned the subject of this post before.]
Guy: Whoa! My grade went up!!!
Girl: But...you have an 18...
Guy: [excited] I KNOW!!!
-Honors Algebra II

And you're a genius...except when you say stuff like this.

[Girl 2 has been eating a ham sandwich. She finishes except for one bite and is getting up to throw her trash away.]
Girl 1: You might as well finish killing that animal, you know.
Guy: What? Are you like a vegetarian now or something? [She was eating chicken Friday]
Girl 1: Well yeah...except for when I eat meat and stuff.
- Cafeteria

...it's all Greek to me.

[Our Honors English II class is discussing Julius Caesar.]

Teacher: The Romans had a huge empire... just think, who were the people who put Christ to death?
Class: The Romans...
Teacher: Who was the one man, specifically, who sentenced Him to His death?
Guy: Plato!

You Should Be Deported

[This is the same government class as in the "Way to Be Pansies" post. We are reviewing for a test that we'll take later in the block over Civil Rights and Immigration.]
Teacher: Okay, from what country do most of America's immigrants come?
Kid in back: OH! ARIZONA!!!
- Government

Point taken.

[Time: It is 2:57 this (Friday) afternoon. Everyone is just sitting, waiting, for the bell to ring to release school.

Place: The ag department (ah, the glory).]

Girl (to guy beside her): GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, I AM NOT YOUR SUGAR-BRITCHES!!!

ffffaaa what?

Heard this on the way out of school:

{Two girls walking along, one to the other}

First: {reading a poster on the wall} They are having a ffafestival. What is a ffafestival?

Other: I think you mean FFA.

First: Now THAT makes more sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahhh, the things Hooked On Phonics messed up....

And Columbus sailed the ocean blue in...1776?

[Our teacher has been discussing poetry. Someone asked why there were more great Entlish poets than American ones.]
Teacher: Well, England's been around for forever. America's only been a country since 1492.
- Honors English II

You can find it on the bottom of any desk near you.

Guy: I love that one kind of gum. You know...the kind that tastes like it's been chewed before?
- Honors Algebra II

Some Fabulous Advice

Guy: So we're having an exam tomorrow.
Girl: Listen to Mozart, and you'll be alright. It makes you smarter, you know. I have a CD you can borrow if you want.
Guy: I'm alright.
Girl: No, REALLY.
-Panera

You, sir, are correct.

[Spanish, second block]

Sandwich friend: I know what "hace mucho frío" means. It means it's freakin' cold!!

Hmm...

Elderly substitute teacher to guy with really long hair: Are you sure you're a boy?

No comment.

Peanut Butter: A Complex Concept

[Again, we're in Spanish, second block. "Sandwich friend" is our sanwich-eater from a post on November 21. He is also featured in the below post, as the orange juice drinker.]

Sandwich friend: Do you know what I like?
Girl: What?
Sandwich friend: Peanut butter...
Girl: Oh.
Sandwich friend: Do you realize how complicated it is to make?
Girl: You just put a bunch of peanuts in a blender and you have peanut butter, right?
Sandwich friend: No, they have to add a bunch of other crap to it...
Girl (astonished): Wow...

Orange juice isn't so healthy anymore.

[Lunch has just let out and everyone is walking back to class. There is a bottle of orange juice sitting on the water fountain. "Guy" sees it.]
Guy: Orange juice! [He picks it up and opens it.] This is like my lucky day! [He pauses before taking a drink and turns to his friend.] You don’t think somebody like peed in it or anything, do you?
Friend: No, man. It’s not full enough.
Guy: Cool. [He drinks it.]
- Front Hall

This Can't Be Good

[Note that Friend's parents and Cousin's parents are very very strict. This is NOT the same "friend" as all the rest of the "friends" on here. In general, pseudonyms only go with individual posts.]
-
Friend: So [my Cousin] told her mom that she was going to a friend's house, but she really went to a college party. So she got like really drunk and doesn't really remember quite what happened. But she woke up in some strange college guy's bed so she's assuming that she might have---Oh! Hi, Mom!
-On the Phone

Infidelity

Me: So is your boyfriend going to be here?
Friend: Um....which one?
- Orchestra Concert

Sounds Delicious.

Me: I'm so mad I'm like going to go home and kick a kitten!
Friend: Well, I'm so mad I'm going to go home and puree a puppy!
- Academic Team