or worse, Bon Jovi....

"I said some thing stupid, and I thought, like, O MY GOSH! What if I had turned around, and Kid Rock had been standing there?!?!?!" -- Subway

But the skinny ones are like birds.

[Guy 1 has just accused Guy 2 of being gay.]
Guy 2: [Guy 1], I don't fly that way.
Guy 3: Only because fat people can't fly!!

-World Civ.

...can't think of any other reason.

Girl: Why is your sister in a wheelchair?
Guy: I don't know, karma, I guess.
Girl: What do you mean?
Guy: Her knee caps are busted. I mean, she punched me in the stomach, somebody busted both her knee caps.

- 3rd Block

It bounced? My, my.

Girl rambling to her posse: ...and I was just, like, wanting to go [Adam's] but do you know what she did?! She told me no and threw a plate at me!! She just threw the plate and it bounced right off my head!

- Lunch

Fries and a drink?

Guy: Man, I wanna eat a hamburger...with...with 2 steaks for buns!

-Hallway, before 1st block

Dragon v. Lion

Guy: You think you're better than me?! Well, you had better think differently because if you were a lion, and I was a zebra, I'd eat you! Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Does anything fight a lion and win? Oh, yeah. If you were a lion and I was a dragon, I'd eat you. There.

- Government

...Or something like that.

"So her house caught on fire...and apparently it like...burned down or something like that...."

-Lunch Line

I should reread that chapter....

Teacher: You all really need to study this stuff. You should know what the Gaza pyramids are!

Some bone marrow might help too.....

Discussing why we can't make water in chemistry.

Teacher: We would need a lot of Platinum too.
Student: (Still on meds from a visit to the dentist) I can get you some of that. I just gave it away last time I gave blood.
Student 2: That is PLASMA.
Student 1: Oh. My mouth hurts....

Stop mumbling.

[Discussing the United States' national anthem.]

Teacher: How many of you all actually know the words?
A few assorted kids: "Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light?..."
Guy 1: Here's something I've always wondered: What does "donderly" mean? I mean, I've never known.

- Government

...or maybe it was a pitchfork.

["Junior" was supposed to show up for detention.]
Teacher 1: Junior supposedly got sick today and can't make it to detention.
Teacher 2 [sarcastically]: Well, how'd he do it this time?
Teacher 1 [walking back into his room]: I don't know, something to do with a sledgehammer.

- Middle School Office

submitted by booklover95

No? How about some sausage links?

[Girl has some bacon bits for her potato, Guy is sitting next to her eating his hamburger.]
Girl: Hey, do you want these bacon bits for your hamburger?

-Cafeteria

More animal confusion...

[It is 'Agriculture and You' day at the high school...]

Girl 1 [pointing to a bull]: ...and this one is a boy.
Girl 2: Wait! There are boy cattle?
Girl 1: Yeah, they're called bulls.
Girl 2: And they're cattle?
Girl 1: Yes.
Girl 2: Wow, I had no idea. I thought there were only girl cattle.

- Outside the School

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Goats are cows?

Girl 1: I've always wanted to be in the rodeo, but since I'm a kid, I know they'd make me ride llamas instead of bulls. That wouldn't be as much fun.
Girl 2: No, they make little kids ride sheep.
Girl 1: Isn't that what llamas are?

- Greenhouse Tech

submitted by Stacy

Respect your elders!! [And Eavesdroppers!]

Girl: So this old woman...
Little Sister: She is your elder! Do NOT call her an old woman!!

-On the Phone

-

Today is the 6 month anniversary of Eavesdroppers. We're getting more and more hits every day and have recently added About Eavesdroppers, a supplement to Eavesdroppers. We hope that for a birthday present, you'll help us find some more readers! We always appreciate referrals, so that other people can enjoy the Eavesdroppers we've all come to love.

Motherly love.

Girl: My mom still has the first lock of hair cut from my head... I found it the other day! She also has my baby teeth.
Guy: Well, my mom saved my teeth in the console of her car, and then she sold it.

- Government

I DID think it was just your brain...

[Girl is sitting in a state of deep speculation. She turns to Guy.]
Girl: Is my forehead bumpy or is it just my skull?

- Chamber Group...this one's for you.

Showing off the P.C. again...

[Girl is telling the class about her trip to China.]
Girl: And there were all of these big monkeys just walking around the temple--
Guy 1: You racist! Those are monks!
Girl: No...they were really monkeys.
Guy 2: Man, if there were monkeys in a temple here, somebody would shoot them...

-World Civ.

"That wasn't even worth it!"

Girl: You got shot? Where's your scar!?
Guy: I don't have a scar!
Girl: You got shot and didn't get a scar?! That wasn't even worth it!

- Government