Take that.

"So what if you had banana deodarant? Monkeys would be attracted to you. Well, in your case, they probably are already..."

-Camp, during lunch

That's right, m'dears. I have returned.

Maybe a 3 Musketeers....

{Discussing favorite Pop Tarts}

Guy 1: The Brown Sugar Cinnamon are my favorite.
Girl 1: Oh - I love the chocolate ones, with the chocolate filling, and the chocolate frosting.
Guy 2: You mean a Snickers Bar?

Poor cat.

Girl: There's a mouse loose in our house, and it's crawling up through our dryer vents! I'm always afraid it's going to crawl into the dryer. Yesterday, I put a pair of shorts in there and walked away, and I heard this "BOOM!" I made Dad go look inside it, because I remembered the time Jenny left her cat in the dryer, you know? I thought the mouse had exploded. It was terrible.

- Irvine

Sharper than a tack...

[Two middle-aged women are discussing their mothers.]

Woman 1: I'm really thankful that my mother's mind is still good like it is.
Woman 2: Yeah, that's great.
Woman 1: She's still sharp for 78, aren't you Mom? Aren't you 78?
"Mom": Umm... I don't know, I guess so.

- McDonald's

Wasn't she deaf?

[People are discussing the host of a game show.]

Girl 1: But his accent makes him cute!
Girl 2: Oh sure he's cute if we close our eyes, but we are NOT Helen Keller!

contributed by Rachel

Copernicus called....

{2 people are late for class, and arguing which building they need to go to for a Science Class.}

Girl 1: It HAS to be in Pasteur!
Girl 2: Why?!?! He didn't do anything with science!

A World of Simile and Metaphor

[Three people are listening to the radio, something is said about being a literalist.]

Man : I am a complete literalist.
Girl 1 : What's a literalist?
Girl 2 : Here's a definition: I'm the opposite of literalist.
Man : What, do you live in a world of simile and metaphor?
Girl 2 : No, I live in a world of sarcasm.
Man : Irony is much preferred to sarcasm.
Girl 2 : I live in a world of irony AND sarcasm, then.
Girl 1 : What's irony?
Man : It's hard to explain. It's when things exist on different levels and mean different things.
Girl 2 : Isn't that ironic?
Girl 1 [pulling up what was part of a tobacco stick] : I've got a stick for when the two of you get out of hand.
Man : Is that metaphorically or literally speaking??

-Near a radio

You've outsmarted the master of rhyme.

[Boy at lunch table is rambling.]
Boy: I have finally found a word that rhymes with orange! It only works if you put a hyphen in it though! Do you want to hear it?
Girl: No.
Boy: Are you ready?! Huh? Huh? It's "Door-hinge!" Dr. Suess said it couldn't be done, but I proved him wrong! Ha!

-Contributed by booklover95

I think [I THINK] you're missing the point here.

Guy: ...That's like the pot calling the kettle black.
Girl: Um, they totally make more colors than black!

-Who Knows Where

Was Simba there too?

"I just got back from Disney World, and in the parade, they had a girl who looked just like the REAL Snow White!"

If that's not a medical miracle...

Girl: Yeah, [that club] is really bad...I was there and there was this girl who was like 12 months pregnant trying to steal my boyfriend.

-College Cafeteria

It's all the rage on the west coast.

Guy: "Let's play spin-the-box cutter! Whoever it lands on gets stabbed."

-Government

Seven Months of Eavesdroppers

Yet another month has come and gone, and today is the seven month anniversary of Eavesdroppers. We're moving along, but the summer, naturally, is expected to be a slow time for us.

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Since it seems you're bored often because there's no school, spend some of that free time promoting Eavesdroppers! Continue to spread the word [using our various resources, as explained in a previous post], keep an ear out, and contribute the great things you overhear.

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...and now time for my favorite segment and yours, the monthly review of stats, as of 2:55 PM:

Total Hits: 8,893

Total Unique Visitors: 4,789

[Average] Hits Per Day: 66

First-Time Visitors Per Day: 30

Returning Visitors Per Day: 10

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Keep Listening [and reading]!

R. Burns and the rest of the Eavesdroppers Staff

You should really get that checked out...

[Two Girls are laughing hysterically. Girl 1 takes a deep breath.]
"Oh!! I think I just had a stomach attack!"

-Hallway

...And that beats your dream ANY day.

Girl 1: [telling a lengthy story to Other Girls] So I dreamed that I got pregnant and died----
Girl 2: [interrupting] Well I dreamed that my car blew up and I didn't die.
Other Girls: Whoa.

-Downstairs Bathroom, School

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A few notes...

Some new features have been added to Eavesdroppers recently. You might have noticed that now you can subscribe to all posts and get them in your inbox as they're put up on the site. You can also get RSS widgets to put on pretty much any site you have (Except Wordpress...sorry.) These are very cool and you can customize them to match your blog. We always appreciate them...they're a new and fun way to spread the word about Eavesdroppers.

There are also some new links in the links section...check them out!

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Hope you're having a good summer...make use of our new stuff and feel free to suggest other stuff you think we should add!

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As usual, eavesdrop on...

Maggini-in-Tweed and the rest of the Eavesdroppers Staff

Can't stand those varmints.

Girl: Gran, there's that chipmunk outside in your yard!!
Grandmother: Where are my keys?! I've got to squash that booger!

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-Grandmother's House

...Go figure.

Redneck 1: Hey! Will you hold this hand sanitizer in your hand while I light it?
Redneck 2: Sure.
[pause]
Redneck 1: Is anything happening?
Redneck 2: No, it just hurts really bad.

-Lunch Line, contributed by Oshkawa