It's a lemur, mate!

[We're going over a map of Africa.]

Teacher [pointing to Madagascar]: ...and what is this country, [girl]?
Girl: Madagascar?
Teacher: Right. What is the one animal who's native only to this country?
Girl: Umm... a kangaroo?

-World Civ

The capital of Australia? China.

[We are doing a project where we have to write a postcard to a "friend" about our "trip" to Costa Rica.]

Guy: This is dumb. None of my friends would even CARE if I went to Mexico!

...as long as there's no rat tail.

"If I grow a mullet, will you still be my friend??"

-Government

Fun party.

"And I was like 'You're going to choke her? I have company over!' and I was really surprised. Of course, I don't THINK he'd choke her anyway but you never know."

-1st Block

...Right.

"Oh yeah. I know her. She used to live in a bomb shelter."

-Lockers

I Baroque Out in Laughter....

{I was in class, and there was a dicussion about Baroque Literature. The teacher was discussing famous authors of the era when she came to Defoe.}

Teacher: Defoe wrote a book few people know little about anymore, but it used to be quite popular.
Student: Robinson Crusoe.
Teacher: (surprised) Very good!! It was about a family who was shipwrecked on an island, and they basically built themselves a whole big place to live. Then a few years back, Disney made a movie of the book, changing the title. They called it Swiss Family Robinson.
Student: {Puts head down to supress laughter, teacher goes right on....}

{For those of you who are going HUH?, look up Johann David Wyss.}

Feathers, too.

Girl: I'm giving up red meat for Lent... you know, cow. I'm not giving up things that come from cows, though, like milk, eggs, and cheese.

-Honors Biology

...and if you stare long enough, 17.

Girl 1: If you stare at him, he looks 16. If you just glance at him though, he only looks 15.
Girl 2: Woah, that's weird.

-Hallway

Which is the ________ from correct?

"So it's the fartherest...I mean, the furtherest...I mean..."

-4th Block

Where Exactly IS Waldo???

{There was a conversation about where you could get things shipped, which brought about 2 posts, but since they are both uttered by the same girl, and involve the same topic, I am going to lump them together.}

Guy: You can too get ground shipping to Alaska, you just drive through Canada.
Girl: Ugh. No you can't....you are so stupid. Alaska isn't in this country!!!
Guy: Yes it is...so is Hawaii.
Girl: I have been to Hawaii, and Alaska is farther south than Hawaii...I would know, I've been there. It is right down there near Mexico, and it is in a different country, because it has a box around it. Stupid.

That conversation led to a geography quiz for the girl, who decided she didn't want to play after not knowing the difference between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, even after having been to Hawaii, in it's own little box....hmmmmm....

Yes.

Girl on Phone: That's funny. Didn't she beat up a hobo one time?

- Hallway

It does make us laugh, though.

Guy 1: I'm so gangsta.
Guy 2: Well I'm gangsta GANGSTA.
Girl [Who actually IS a "gangsta"]: Okay, saying it twice doesn't help your case. You're still an idiot.
-3rd Block

On to option #2...

Girl: What am I going to do if I ever have a kid... and it turns out stupid?!
Guy: What, you mean, like retarded?
Girl: No, I mean, like, dumb, no common sense.
Guy: I don't know...
Girl: ...I think I'll kill it.

-Hallway

Today's Special: Potato Subs

[Guy 1 walks into classroom, after lunch, eating a baked potato, a piece of ham, and potato chips, all on a sandwich bun.]
Guy 2: Man, that looks delicious.
Guy 1: Yeah...
Guy 2: They should serve those at Subway, dude.

-Government

Angora or Wool?

"Ugh. I have that fuzzy feeling on my teeth from eating too much candy...like they're all wearing little sweaters."

-Orchestra

Smoke, fog, what's the difference?

Girl: Woah, it's really foggy outside!
Teacher: Yeah, I couldn't see what I was doing when I was getting ready this morning.
Girl: There was fog in your house?! You can't have fog in your house!
Teacher: Well... um... I burned my toast.

-World Civ

Yes, in the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

[Guy to class]

"Has anyone here ever met a hobo?"

-Government

Frankly, it stinks. [Pun intended.]

[I am in line at the store; there is a very grizzly man in front of me. In walks a woman whom he apparently knows.]

Woman: Hey, how are you doin', hun?
Grizzly: Well, I could be better, I got a skunk in my house.
Woman: You got a what?!
Grizzly: A skunk! In my house! I woke up, and there it was. A big black tail right on my face. Shoo, it's awful.

- Gas Station

A monologue.

[A guy, to no one in particular.]

"You know what's a funny word? "Poppycock." I know this black woman, she says that. She's black, but she's from Britain. She says "Oh, poppycock!" It's hilarious."

- Government

Greece, too? It can't be.

Guy 1: Man, I'm hungry. Did you know there's a place called Hungary? Hun-gar-y. There's also a place called Turkey. They're in the same... um... area.
Guy 2: There's also a place called Chile...
Guy 1: Nuh-uh! Are you serious?!

- Government, before lunch

I'm so sorry.

Girl 1: I just want to, like, drop dead.
Girl 2: That's really sad.
Girl 1: You've never felt that way? Well...I guess it's more like just wishing you were never born.
Girl 2: That's sad too.
Girl 1: You don't feel that way either? Man, I feel like that every night...right before I cry myself to sleep.
- After School

...And you get a red card for that.

[We are talking about immigrants.]
Guy: Yeah...one time I took [Enrique]'s green card and he got like REALLY mad. I wonder why....
- Honors Biology

Dominican Republic? In the Bahamas...

Girl 1: Do you think Puerto Rico will ever become a state?
Teacher: No, I don't.
Girl 2: Where is Puerto Rico, anyway? Isn't it somwhere off the west coast?
Girl 1: No, it's in the Bahamas, stupid.

-Government

Ethiopia: The Ideal Society

"Man, I really hate doing this stupid geometry. I'm wasting an entire piece of paper just to write this dumb proof. Just think, little starving children in Utopia could be eating this paper. I'm sure it's better than dirt."

-Honors Geometry

"Kentucky Fried Sandwich [Friend]"

[Sandwich friend is eating a grilled cheese sandwich during class. He stops eating and holds the sandwich out in front of him, looking at it curiously.]

S.F.: Hey, this looks just like Kentucky! [The sandwich actually has been eaten into the shape of Kentucky.]
S.F.: Cool, Kentucky Fried Sandwich!! [He then shoves the remainder of the sandwich into his mouth.]

-Government

And you'd be "sorry" too.

"...I wanted to just throw him on the floor and stomp on his face...but I decided to do the right thing and just say 'Thank You.'"

- Hallway

Toast and eggs? Never.

Girl: Gosh, I'm hungry. Do you know what I had for breakfast? ... a cupcake and a piece of fried chicken!

-Government

Words of Wisdom

[Our government class somehow got off on the subject of man-made v. natural diamonds. The teacher as well as many of the girls were saying how much they'd rather have and natural diamond than a man-made one in an engagement ring.]

Teacher: I see the diamond in the ring, being true, as a symbol of true love.

[Other people begin to chime in...]

Sandwich Friend: I still don't see that much difference between the two. I think my girlfriend would be just as happy with a man-made diamond. They're the same thing. They both mean, "Here, marry me." The ring means nothing.
Teacher: I don't agree with you. Most girls love diamonds, and a true diamond is a symbol.
Sandwich Friend: Well, you know what would be a symbol of true love to me? A peanut-butter and jelly sandwich, because I love peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches.

-Government

"Squashed" ... as in "like a bug"

[In advance, I'll note that Guy 2 is quite large.]

Guy 1: When is Valentine's Day, anyway?
Guy 2: Tomorrow, you idiot!
Guy 1: Thank-you, cheeky. When I want your answers, I'll ask for them.
Guy 2: Cheeky!?!
[Guy 2 stands up and walks over to Guy 1, angrily.]
Guy 1: Woah, woah! [Guy 2], you remember what happened the last time you sat on me?
Guy 2: Yeah, you got squashed!!

-World Civ

Hmmm, chilly....

{Math Class}

Jack Frost: Is it going to snow?
Math Mentor: It is going to be 45 all day, and then not get below 40 tonight.
Frost: So, we might get freezing rain?

Hmmm, lets think about that one.....

Tumbling?

[There is a long line in the bathroom. Girls 1 & 2 enter.]
Girl 1: Ugh. I don't FEEL like waiting.
Girl 2: [looks under doors] Oh look, there's no one in that one...there!
Girl 1: [pushes on door] But it's locked! [pauses] Boost me over, then.
Girl 2: [confused] What?
Girl 1: Boost me over.
Girl 2: Fine. [Puts out an arm to hoist Girl 1 over the door of the stall. Girl 1 climbs on Girl 2's arm and jumps over. She tumbles and we hear her hit the floor.]
Girl 1: [Curses loudly] That HURT!! [There is a pause. After about a minute, we hear tugging on the door.] Ummm...I think I know why it was locked with no one in it.
Girl 2: Why?
Girl 1: The door won't open...
- Bathroom

Delicious.

Sandwich Friend: Cheetos are forever ruined for me, they remind me of little fat kids.
Girl: Why do they do that?
Sandwich Friend: ...because when I was in second grade, there was this big, fat kid who also smelled bad who used to push me out of my chair in the cafeteria. The he'd sit there in my chair and eat Cheetos. I'd have to sit there in the cafeteria floor and eat my Cheetos. I'm scarred for life.

-Government

The "starve-yourself-spa".

Teacher: Have any of you been following the Anna Nicole Smith story? [Teacher continues to talk...]
Girl 1: I hate that she died, but she always irritated me.
Girl 2: Yeah, I know... "Trim-Spa, baby."
Girl 1: Yeah, you're not on any "Trim-Spa", lady, you're on like a "starve-yourself-spa". Maybe I should look into that "spa"...

-Government

...that's all I ask.

Girl: [Sandwich Friend], why were you so sad at lunch today?
Sandwich Friend: I was hungry and I had no money and no one would give me their food. Everyone was going on and on and ignoring me. Everyone was talking about Jared's "neck beard" and not talking to me. I just wanted a chicken nugget, but no...

-Government

Know Your Similes

['Woman' is talking to me about one of the kids that I show lambs with.]

Woman: Boy, the chip doesn't fall far from the tree...
Me: What?
Woman: The chip doesn't fall far from the tree... He's just like his dad.
Me: I believe you're confusing "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" and "chip off the old block."
Woman: I'm pretty sure you're wrong. It's "the chip doesn't fall far from the tree."

He's in my heart, he's in my soul...

[A group of old ladies are standing about, discussing their grandchildren, and how they have "those iPod things". I sidle a bit closer, just as OP1 begins to speak.]
OP1: You know, I just don't get the whole iPod thing, putting it in your ear and all. I don't usually tell people this, but when I'm at home by myself I like to put on a Rod Stewart tape and turn it up REALLY loud.
- Joseph Beth

...the acclaimed football star/actor/musician...

[We are discussing O.J. Simpson...]

Sandwich Friend: Wait, wait who's O.J.?!
Teacher: He is a man who was accused of murdering his wife as well as another man. He was a football star, acted in a bunch of commercials, a couple movies...
Sandwich Friend: Does he sing, too?
Kid: No, that's Rueben Studdard.
Sandwich Friend: Oh, that's right.

-Government

"Oh, snap."

[We are discussing the 4th Amendment, which guarantees protection against unlawful searches and seizures.]

Sandwich Friend: What if the police just smell drugs outside your house, can they go in?
Teacher: Yes, that would be a probable cause.
Sandwich Friend: Oh, snap.

-Government

Roosevelt? Never heard of him...

['Teacher' has just read us Ronald Reagan's writings concerning his being shot, without naming who wrote them. It is apparent Reagan wrote them, though.]

Sandwich Friend: Wait, who wrote that?
Teacher: That was Ronald Reagan.
Sandwich Friend: Isn't that the guy who hosted Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Teacher: No. Ronald Reagan was an actor before he was president, though.
Sandwich Friend: Was he fat?
Teacher: No.
Sandwich Friend: Was he bald?
Teacher: No.
Sandwich Friend: I don't know him, then.

-Government

Three Months of Eavesdroppers!

The institution we know simply as Eavesdroppers began on the 7th of November, 2006. Now, 3 months later, this is our 110th post.

-

As our three contributors sit about talking about how to commemorate this momentous event, I decide we need to actually post something in this post.

Offshelf says, "What? Do you want me to say something stupid?"

R. Burns chuckles and goes on talking about Peanuts and gangsters.

I decide to simply give you some stats.

-

In the last three months, we have made 110 seperate posts, some with more than one piece of Eavesdroppers material.

We have received almost 150 comments.

I approximate our hit count to be around 1250 [and growing].

We have had 452 unique visitors.

-

So, you our loyal readers, we thank you!

Tell your friends and keep coming yourselves.

-

Eavesdrop on...

Maggini in Tweed

R. Burns

Offshelf

Spin, click. Spin, click.

"Have you ever tried to make an emergency call on a rotary dial phone? Not easy."

- World Civ.

We don't even want to hear #7.

[We are going over a test we just took in Geometry. Part of it is logic. Question 6 reads thus:

"When is it legal for a man to marry his daughter?" Guy has missed it.]

Teacher: So the answer to that is "If the man is a preacher, priest, rabbi, or whatever.
Guy: But...but...WHY?! That's like your FAMILY!! That's sick.
Teacher: Who wants to explain that?
- Honors Geometry

"Nuh-uh girlfriend"

"If a guy walked up to me and made that queer little motion you just made, I sure wouldn't ask 'How's your wife?'" - World Civ.

Maybe I Will!

Girl: [to boy who's complaining] If I were you, I'd just go home and cut myself.
- Honors Geometry